excerpt: [Closing in on] onesome

Seeing as the very kind cb53 has asked for a show of what I’ll be reading at my thing on Thursday, here’s an excerpt from one of the poems. Hope you like it. I think it gives a good representation of the sorts of patterning in my writing at the moment, amongst other things!


a A close closing, up

close, close-to, close to its

Close, Closes up, closed, closed up


Swansong, shut, shut up, she fades







*           *           *


Swansung she fed

she bled she bladed


An amaranthine customer

faded, evaded,


Herbs of death,

Prophet of dissemblance

brings the close.


*           *           *


Swansong she feeds

she bred. She bade

Come hither

a newling




thither Her hitherto

Henceforth invaded

-sumed shun, disbanded


Closed, closed up, used up, gone


forring you, you


*           *           *


7 responses to “excerpt: [Closing in on] onesome

  1. I was living in the Orkney Islands. Beautiful place. I think I’d like it more in Aberdeen, Edinburgh, or Inverness though. More people.

    Your poem is very interesting. I have to admit that it isn’t the usual style I like, but you do have talent. I really like the rhythm. I think it will take a couple more readings to get the gist of it. I don’t have quite as much courage in my own writing to try something like that. I stick to structures. You should definitely keep doing what you’re doing though!

  2. Thanks cb – really glad you picked up on the rhythm. I think that’s one of the things I get from repeating words, is a sense of propulsion, of momentum. I realised as I went that some dark stuff had got into it. I was supporting friends at the time who were dealing with the big stuff around serious illness, suicidal thoughts and failed pregnancy. I wouldn’t have ever decided to tackle those subjects head on, but I think a lot of that got in there subconsciously and the form found itself. Anyway, that’s probably more explanation than the excerpt can bear and if it reads like it’s about bunny rabbits, all well and good!

    I’d love to get up to Orkney some time, but yes, I imagine it’s pretty thin on the ground for people. There’s a poet called Nalini Paul who’s just written a book of poems called Slokt after a residency up there. Maybe you’d like it?

    • I think it’s easy for me to pick on rhythm because I’m a musician. It’s always the first thing I notice about poetry. You’re right: it moves the piece the forward and and adds a sense of, I don’t know, evolving, movement. Something like that. It was slightly dark, but it makes sense. I hope your friends are doing better now. I think when you’re going through that kind of stuff or helping someone through that stuff it just automatically comes out in your writing. I have a couple of poems that ended up being dark without that being my intention. Definitely no bunny rabbits in this!!

      And you should definitely go to Orkney. Even though it was to get use to so little people, I think that added to some of it’s charm. There’s a couple places, like Birsay and Yesnaby, that would be ruined if there was too many people. Just looking out over ocean and cliffs is amazing. I can’t really describe the incredible feeling, you just have to go there. I will look up that book. Thank you.

      • Everyone’s doing loads better now thanks – phew. And it’s good to hear what you say about things inevitably coming out in your writing when you’re experiencing them. I’d be interested to read some of your work, if there’s any online?

  3. I’m going to start posting some of my better works on my blog, including a novel I’m trying to wring out. I would really appreciate getting feedback. Thanks.

  4. I look forward to seeing what you put up cb53 🙂

    • Say that after you read it. 🙂 I’m trying something new with the novel– doing it all in dialogue– so hopefully you won’t hate it. And most of the poems are very structured.

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